Communication and confrontation have never been my strong suits. As an introvert, I thrive by working alone and keeping to myself. Frankly, I find social interaction down right painful.
However, as I have gotten older and moved up in my career, I have found myself in a position where managing and interacting with others is essential to the job. While I appreciate being given the opportunity for greater responsibility, it has forced me to adapt and address my weaknesses.
When operating a recreation center, managing both professional and student staff is a huge part of the job. So I am sure you have also been presented with awkward situations when confronting an employee was necessary. Avoiding and trying to ignore the situation will only make it worse.
Whether you have to talk with an employee about being late, unsatisfactory performance or something else, here are a few lessons I have gleaned over the years that may help.
Rehearse in advance
I find this tactic to be extremely helpful. Since I am not the best with social interaction, rehearsing helps me stay calm and collected. I can prepare what to say, therefore going into the conversation I feel better equipped to deal with the situation.
Conduct conversations somewhere private
If you work in a open environment like I do, having difficult conversations with a co-worker can be difficult. No one wants to deliver and receive bad news in front of others. If you have an office, perfect, you can simply shut the door. If not, try to find somewhere private, where people will not be coming in an out. That will only lead to a more awkward situation.
Don’t wait
Usually the longer you wait to address an issue, the more upset you will be. You will bottle up your feelings until you want to explode and therefore approaching the situation in a clam manner will be difficult. Don’t wait to address an issue.
Keep a calm tone and demeanor
Try to maintain an even, calm tone. Don’t raise your voice because that will cause your employee to get defensive and put their guard up. Also consider body language. Try to no fidget, cross and uncross legs, furrow your brow or use exuberant hand movements. Again, this will only make the situation more uncomfortable.
Everyone will react differently
Always remember, you can’t control how others will react, but you can control how you approach the situation. Self-awareness is essential. Before starting the conversation, think about your weaknesses. For example, I tend to get defensive. So before hand, I acknowledge this and keep it in mind during the conversation so I can hopefully avoid being defensive.
If you want even more tips and information on how to handle stressful conversations, check out these suggestions from the Harvard Business Review.
https://hbr.org/2001/07/taking-the-stress-out-of-stressful-conversations/?U=1_DN37_YET14
