Consider this: a student staff member in your campus recreation department no-shows a shift, fumbles a member experience and is late the following day.
You call them in for a conversation in your office. You detail where they missed the mark, review policies, set expectations moving forward and document appropriately. The staff member leaves upset and frustrated, and you’re left wondering why your employees struggle so much with feedback and direction. How did we get here?
As a campus rec professional, you’ll inevitably need to deliver feedback. Coaching conversations often challenge both people because they carry strong emotions.
The student staff member may dread the meeting, worrying that their supervisor doesn’t understand their perspective or circumstances. Meanwhile, the supervisor may feel frustrated about rules not being followed or expectations being repeatedly unmet. The exchange too easily turns into a clash rather than a collaboration.
There’s a lot of focus on your ability to deliver these coaching conversations and resolve conflict or correct undesirable behaviors as a campus rec professional. To strengthen your campus rec coaching skill set, you need to create and foster connections with your staff — not just deliver a feedback sandwich.
Your missing link is not a link at all — it’s a cup.
Filling the Cup of Connection
Imagine you’re handed a cup every time you hire a new student employee. That cup represents the connection between you and that staff member, and as their supervisor, you’re responsible for filling it.
At first, it starts small: learning their name, asking about their hometown or remembering their favorite hobby. Over time, with intentional care, the cup fills with trust — through listening, celebrating success, offering support during difficult moments and simply sharing a laugh. This connection becomes the foundation of your working relationship.
And here’s the key: every coaching conversation will inevitably spill some water from that cup. If the cup is nearly empty, a leader may be perceived as uncaring or unempathetic. But if the cup is full, the conversation lands on a foundation of trust and respect, softening the impact and making space for growth.
Let’s revisit the earlier scenario, but this time with connection and curiosity at the forefront.
James is a valued team member who generally takes care in the services he provides. He no-shows a shift, fumbles a customer service experience and is late the following day.
You call him into your office for a conversation and share with him the observations you’ve made regarding his recent performance. Instead of jumping straight into reprimand, you draw on the connection you’ve built.
You know James typically has a strong record, so you ask if everything’s okay because of his unusual behavior. Because James trusts you, he feels safe to open up. He explains that his grandmother recently passed away, and he’s been struggling to cope. Suddenly, the disciplinary action you had prepared doesn’t feel right.
What’s needed here is support, understanding and a collaborative plan for moving forward. Utilizing curiosity has now opened the door to the opportunity for both you and James to course correct actions in a collaborative partnership that fits the context behind the situation.
Building Connection Through Consistency
Building connection doesn’t happen overnight, but small, consistent actions make all the difference:
- Learn personal details: majors, hobbies or weekend plans — and follow up.
- Celebrate small wins and highlight contributions.
- Check in regularly, not just when something goes wrong or when you need to provide direction.
- Share a laugh — joy strengthens trust just as much as support and understanding during tough times.
These actions may seem irrelevant, but over time they create a pitcher of trust that softens the harder moments.
The success of a coaching conversation is determined long before it happens. If you only reach out and have conversations when redirection needs to occur, you’ll find yourself facing tense discussions that turn into power struggles rather than collaborations. But if you consistently invest in fostering connection and filling those cups — with care, curiosity and trust — you’ll discover that even the toughest feedback can become an opportunity for growth and partnership.
Your next campus rec coaching conversation is only as strong as the connection you’ve built beforehand.
